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DEAR ABBY: I am struggling with a recent diagnosis of severe liver disease (non-alcoholic) and need to lose 30 pounds. I have had two bouts of cancer in five years as well as arthritis. I have dedicated myself to explicitly following my doctor's directions to eat organic and low-fat foods and to exercise daily to improve my liver. I face surgery in the next few months.

I live with family members who claim to be supportive yet get angry when I turn down invitations to all-you-can-eat buffets, buttered popcorn at movies, fast food and pastries. One stormed off when I turned down a visit to a deli for a huge salami sandwich! I politely said I wasn't hungry, which was true. After this argument, I lost focus. I stopped weighing myself daily and began backsliding.

I am no longer hopeful about improving my health. These family members are well aware of my diagnosis because they were present at the medical consultation. How can I stay strong without moving out? It is my house! -- SICK AND TIRED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SICK AND TIRED: It's time to reaffirm your desire to LIVE. Because of your health problems, this will mean making changes that will be lifelong. Ask your doctor for a referral to a registered dietitian who can guide you in making those adjustments, and when you have your first consultations, bring your sabotaging relatives with you. When they deliberately tempt you to stray from this lifesaving program, they are encouraging you to risk your life. If they are unwilling to get on board, then THEY -- not you -- should move out.

DEAR ABBY: Every time my granddaughter and I talk, she always tells me to let her talk. I'm getting older, and one day I won't be here for her to tell me to let her talk. Believe me, I know. I'd give anything to talk to my Big Mama once more. I finally blew up and told her that one day I won't be here and to have a good day. I haven't spoken to her since.

Most of the time, I have to call or go by to see my great-grandsons, if I see them at all. I'm tired of being the only one to make an effort. I love her with all my heart, but my heart has feelings, too. Please advise. -- OVERLOOKED IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR OVERLOOKED: I know you are hurting, and for that I am sorry. But when someone says, "Let ME talk," it usually means that the other talker is hogging the conversation. I doubt your granddaughter said it to be mean. She may be busier than you are. Conversations are supposed to be shared, not turned into lectures. Because you have important life lessons you want to impart, consider writing them in a journal or recording them.

Since you seem to be making all the effort to see your great-grandsons, perhaps it's time to concentrate less on your children's children and put more effort into socializing with contemporaries. If you do, you may find it equally, if not more, rewarding.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)

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